I Gained a Second Angel

Being pregnant again and hearing my baby's heartbeat was the most beautiful thing in my life. Not even 3 weeks later that was taken from me, my whole world is shattered. My baby stopped growing at 10w4days, just a week after I heard it's beautiful heartbeat at 9w4days. I held on to my baby until 13 weeks. My angel had no heartbeat at my July 1st appointment, so my doctor set up for me to have a d&c July 6th cause we thought my baby would be too big to pass on it's on. Well my baby had other plans, Friday, July 3rd my baby decided it didn't want to have surgery and it came on its own. 3 hours of contraction like pains and my baby became an angel. My new guardian angel. I love my baby, always have and I always will. My beautiful angel wasn't ready for this world, it will join his brother Ethan in heaven. We are getting genetic testing done to see if something went wrong, with that we will hopefully find out the gender. Knowing the gender will help put my heart at rest and we will be able to name our angel. I hope we will have our answers soon. I am so sad inside, I have a second hole in my heart for my baby. I love you my angels, keep watching over us!

Miss Conception Fertility Challenge and My Fertility

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to get pregnant. It seems like it so easy for some people, but why not me. I'm healthy and I do everything right, but I still don't get anything. I guess I now have to accept the fact that I have a fertility problem and I need to seek help...I just am not ready to ask for help...

I've already been to my gynecologist, and she told me everything visually was fine with me. She said I seem like a healthy person, my blood work came out fine, I don't eat bad, and I'm pretty active with exercising. I even had an ultrasound to check how my lady bits are, and those were fine too! She told me if I'm not pregnant in 6 months time, for me to come back for furthering testing to find out why I'm not able to conceive. Well that was October, so if I'm not pregnant by the end of April I'm going to have to make dreaded call. I really don't want it to come to that...so I'm praying for the best :) <3 

So I've been trying to participate in this two week fertility challenge to help me take my mind off of TTC and calm myself down. Well it is helping me to become more positive, even though I'm behind haha. For the first day it talked about "Letting go of jealousy." I've already been trying to work on that. The blog post gives me advice on how to divert my jealousy of others pregnant, and one of the tips was just writing a blog or writing it out. I've also bought a "Keep Calm," calendar that has daily inspiring quotes, I love it!!! Hopefully I can keep up posting because it really is therapeutic :)