April 1st: "You are my one and only..."

Small Bump by Ed Sheeran


This song is my ode to Ethan, my angel. This is the song that I put on repeat every time I think about my baby Ethan because it reassures me that he is somewhere he is needed, but at the same time it makes me cry my eyes out. Today marks the one year anniversary I found out the my sac was empty...that my baby had died at six weeks when I carried that empty sac until 12 weeks...

Today is going to be a hard day for me, but I think I might be able to pull through it. I'm sad, yes, but at the same time I cannot let that sadness overcome me. There will be another day when I will finally hold my own baby in my arms...

I don't know what to do right now, I thought writing out my feelings would help and it has...

When will it be my turn again?



"...Maybe you were needed up there and we're still unaware as why" - Ed Sheeran

Here's to another TWW...

SO here we are in the TWW again...sigh...already ready for it to be over. I'm currently on 7dpo, after ovulating on CD 16. I usually ovulate on CD 10-14, so this was really weird for me. I'm not counting on this cycle working, but still crossing my fingers that it is still my cycle.

If this month turns out to fail, then next month I'm not going to be doing OPK because I think it makes me stress out much more. I'm going to continue charting my temperature, taking mucinex, and drinking raspberry leaf tea. This cycle I'm not symptom spotting cause I go crazy trying to see if other people had the symptom before their BFP. I haven't had any noticeable symptoms to record anyway, so that helps too. ;D

Something new I started this month was checking my cervix, let me tell you it is not easy! It is really cool though cause got to feel how it was exactly when I was ovulating; it might be hard but it was so worth it. I'm going to be doing this next cycle, instead of using an OPK to find out when I'm close to ovulation.

7 days left in the TWW, 7 days to test!!!!
Crossing my fingers and praying for my rainbow someday!
Babydust & Luck to the rest of you lovely ladies :-*

Update; sorry for the MIA status

Yeah I know I haven't  been on in a while, just too many crazy dramas going on in my life! For right now things are quiet. I've been arguing with my dad a lot, and I hate conflict so we know who is starting is...dad...So right now we are staying at my mother-in-laws house that is far away from my job and my fur babies but I'll make it work. In the process of having our own place again here in NY after being in NC for a year. I'm soooo excited and can't wait to have privacy again :D.


I have been thinking a lot lately (and have been wanting to post this for days :-/) that why can't life BE like a life game! You go around the board, make tons of money, have a career & a family, and retire with tons of money. If life were that simple then I'd have a family in a heartbeat! There are no miscarriages, infertility, or to worry about money; I just wish life could be a simple as that, then we'd all have our rainbow ;-*

So I obviously didn't get my bfp last month, so we are trying it again. My new cycle started on August 12, and right now I'm on CD 15 waiting to ovulate tomorrow; last month I ovulated early (CD10), this month I JUST got a positive opk today CD 15. SO I'm doing the deed tonight, tomorrow night and the next night :D. I hope this is my month, but at the same time I'm not holding my breath :-/ Let the TWW begin again!!!

Received this lovely package from one of my TTC sister, definitely made my day and made me very happy! I loved the notebook and the quote on it, "Live in Hope." I've been doing that and it helps me try to think more positive. But I do slip up often...

 

Well I'll try and post something again soon, instead of being MIA.

Luck and baby dust to all you lovely ladies!!!!

CD10, Hello Ovulation! ♥

So I ovulated yesterday, on the day of my first positive ovulation test. I knew because I sometimes feel the pain over by my ovary. Then my temperature this morning spiked up, so I know it definitely happened! I've been drinking green tea once a day this week during my fertile cycle to help with my fluid down there.

I ovulated pretty early this month, CD 10, last month I ovulated on CD 12 but missed my window since hubby was away. If I knew I was going to ovulate THIS early I would have BD a couple of days before I did cause that means my fertile window started sooner :-/ 

Well I guess we will know the outcome in two weeks time! Hello TWW, hope you are kind to me this time around lol