April 1st: "You are my one and only..."

Small Bump by Ed Sheeran


This song is my ode to Ethan, my angel. This is the song that I put on repeat every time I think about my baby Ethan because it reassures me that he is somewhere he is needed, but at the same time it makes me cry my eyes out. Today marks the one year anniversary I found out the my sac was empty...that my baby had died at six weeks when I carried that empty sac until 12 weeks...

Today is going to be a hard day for me, but I think I might be able to pull through it. I'm sad, yes, but at the same time I cannot let that sadness overcome me. There will be another day when I will finally hold my own baby in my arms...

I don't know what to do right now, I thought writing out my feelings would help and it has...

When will it be my turn again?



"...Maybe you were needed up there and we're still unaware as why" - Ed Sheeran

Thinking ♥

Today I was hanging out with my BFF and it was the first time I really opened up to her a out my miscarriage in April. It's just been really hard with ttc to conceive and dealing with the loss that everyone keeps asking about...it's really hard :( she is very understanding and supportive of my journey. Who could ask for a better friend :)

So right now I'm in the 2ww and I'm already impatient :-O 2 dpo now. I want the two weeks to up already. I'll get through this week because I'll have a lot of distractions, but next week I'm not so sure :-/ pray for me that this is my month for a bfp!  

Oh and this was in lost and found today army job, how do you lose something like this lol >o< spot me in the mirror :k